Hey there all you pertty ladies. We are looking for contestants for the 2009 Miss Hillbilly USA.Requirements to enter are as follows:
1) Must be able to belch loud enough that all 13 people attending the event will be able to hear you
2) Have very loud and smelly farts
3) Need to be able to bring your own overalls for the evening wear events (we are too poor to pay for props or outfits)
4) Your talent can not be twirling a baton or other long shafty things
5) You must be able to lift at least 40 pounds of potatos
6) Your body weight must be over 130 pounds
7) Need to know how to drive an old pick up truck. We do have some group entertainment events planned
8) Need to be able to spit at least 3 feet
9) Need to know how to make a fine batch of moonshine. There will be taste tests for all
10) Last but most important. NO FAKE ANYTHING ALLOWED! If you even had so much as a fake tooth put in, you are not gonna win.
Now, who wants to be our 2009 Miss Hillbilly USA?
Come on gals, put on yur best pair of overalls and work boots. Gather up yur moonshine and come on down for a great time. Ya never know, ya might just become Miss Hillbilly USA 2009!
Grand Prize: A great big double wide trailer on the corner lot and, yes there is more! A Fantastic, Beautiful, Amazing......Burger King Crown! Ya know ya want it!
Second Prize: A nice old pickup truck that doubles as a swimmin pool. Just fill up the back with water and have a great time. We might even add in a bonus flotation devise. Does anyone have a spare bum bum cushion that ya get after ya have a baby?
Third Prize: A new fancy wheel barrel to tote yur kids around the trailer-park in
Donations are being accepted for next years prizes.
