This may be a long and very negative rant, so READ AT YOUR OWN RISK!
I am so very frustrated with a bunch of different things right now.
I have been digging and digging rock and clay dirt for at least 2 hours a night (usually more) for two weeks now, just to accommodate this stupid pool (that the DQ JUST HAD TO HAVE). I wanted it too, but not this bad. I have finally given up. This project has caused much sanity loss, a pound of sweat, a bunch of bruises and sleepless nights because of aching muscles. It has beat me. I have NO MORE to give. But what frustrates me the most is that today, Dave told me that I was giving up. What the hell ever happened to knowing your limits and not pushing yourself over the edge to the point of death. I had given it all I had to give a week into it, but I just kept going. Now I don't even want to step one foot out in the yard (which is the place that I use to always want to be). I can not even so much as look at that stupid swimming pool project without wanting to jump off a bridge. DON'T tell me that I am giving up when I am just simply trying not to kill myself either by working to hard or on purpose because I just can not take anymore!
Onto my next stress.
The DQ wants a computer so she can get that stupid Sims 3 game. We have had many discussions about getting a new computer or getting the swimming pool (mentioned above) and we had decided on the pool because we did not have one of those, but we did have access to Dave's computer. Well, we got the pool (that is now just a thorn in my butt) and she is now complaining that she wants a computer. When does it ever end. I want, I want, I want! I can't take anymore. I work my ass off just to pay the bills and they are not ever paid on time. What the hell more can I do. I work a full time job, plus a couple of internet stores and I am working on starting up a home canning in home demonstration /sales business just to have grocery money. Again.....I can't take anymore of this!
There is more.
The DQ who is now 17 would like to get a job. She wants me to spend my free time (the 5 min a day that I have) to help her find one. I don't have a problem with her wanting a job. I don't have a problem with helping her find a job. But, has anyone seen the job market lately? It is not good. So, for a 17 year old special needs child, there is NOT MUCH out there, but she thinks that I should be able to pull off a miracle and somehow come up with a job for her. I have offered to have her help me with my job projects, but NO WAY will she do that, she thinks that is to un-cool. Well, welcome to the real world, you sometimes have to take a job that you don't want, to get experience and or because there is nothing else out there.
I know that these are just small trivial things compared to what most people are going through right now (job losses, home losses and so on). So, I am not having a pity party, I am just simply blogging about my frustrations at the moment.
