Miss Fake Hoochie USA

I think it is silly that we have pageants the determine what girly girl deserves a crown just for being "pretty" and claiming that they want to create world piece.

Who decides what is the perfect look anyway? What makes a tall thin blond any better than a short petite brunette?

Besides, they are all fake anyway.

1) Fake attitudes. You can not tell me that they all really care about "The World"
2) Fake eyelashes. Nobody has eyelashes the length that ALL of these girls have.
3) Fake nails. I don't know anyone who can grow their nails that long and look so "perfect"
4) Fake hair. Can we say EXTENSIONS!
5) Fake tans. With skin cancer being such an issue, you would think that a fake tan would be protested by the cancer societies. Most people can not afford a good spray tan, so they try getting a tan the old fashioned way. And we should not be spraying ourselves with chemicals anyway.
6) Fake boobs. Miss CA is a perfect example. The Miss CA pageant admitted to paying for them so she would have a better shot at becoming Miss USA.
7) Fake reality of what a healthy body weight should be. They all have eating disorders.
8) Fake bodies. If they don't have fake boobs, they use a push-up bra. Some of them use padding to give them hips or a fuller booty.
9) Fake talent. Do you really think they can do what they are trying to do up there, I don't!

I am sure there are many more fake things that they do to create a look that they do not naturally have. Some of them probably have had lipo on their pinky toe, their knee caps re-adjusted or some other nips and tucks that are not as noticeable.

So, I propose that we change the name from Miss USA to Miss Fake Hoochie USA.

I think we should have an ALL NATURAL beauty pageant. No FAKES ALLOWED!

And no, I am not bitter because I am not a fake, 5 foot 9 inch tall toothpick with all fake parts.